You know you're a teacher when...

Tea and Coffee are your life.
The staffroom is your sanctuary.
Packed lunches are a part of daily life.
A social life was a thing you used to have.
The sound of the photocopier haunts you in your sleep.
You dread calls from parents.
You dream of decorating displays.
You automatically say "oh, that's interesting" when something goes wrong.
You say things once, then repeat them, then ask if everyone understands what you are saying, before repeating again.
Although school hours are 8.30-3.30, your day begins at 6am and finishes at 10pm.
Weekends are spent planning for next week, holidays are spent writing reports.
You don't know whether to laugh or cry when someone says "Teaching? That's a 9-4 job! You're so lucky!"
You want to choke a person when they say "Oh, you have so many holidays."
You also want to stab any person who says the following with a compass "Teaching? That's just about learning how to write, right?"
You can maintain a straight face in ANY situation.
You can spot incorrect grammar and spelling a mile off.
You can sense misbehaviour without actually seeing it.
You can make up games on the spot.
You realise there are never enough pencils/gluesticks/scissors in the world.
You see a child misbehaving in the supermarket you automatically give them "the glare".
You have perfected "the glare" which turns any child to stone.
The word INSPECTION or OBSERVATION sends blind panic through your system.
You get fed up with different news reports every day from politicians telling you how to do your job - why don't they spend a day in a school for a change?
You find yourself using cliche teacher phrases that you swore to yourself you would never use - e.g. "pens down, arms folded, eyes front." "I'm sorry Rick, you clearly have something more important to say/be doing than concentrating on my lesson" "tuck your shirt in" etc etc.
You start the beginning of each new term with a full set of stationery, only for it to go missing within a week. Therefore next time you write "MR/MS X" on everything, only to find this doesn't work either.
When you are out shopping in the town of your school you are greeted with at least five cries of "Hi Miss/Mr!!"
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